Meghan Trainor has long been a favorite artist. She has the infamous “My Name is No” song that always comes to mind when working with individuals with memory change. No is the easiest answer. And it is a complete sentence:). So as I drove to meet family for dinner this week her song “Like I’m Gonna Lose You” spoke volumes.
We do not know who has a tomorrow. We know we have right now. If you are overwhelmed with changes in the world today, whether it be temperatures, prices or politics–we know we have today to love the ones closest to us. In reality, we have today to love those not close to us also. But let’s focus on present time, present moment.
We have right now to love. Why–because we do not know tomorrow. Some of the most beautiful lines of the Bible are in Matthew. Look at the birds, the lilies of the field (Matt. 6: 26-30), they are not anxious. Reliant. Buddha’s read on suffering, it will happen. The challenge is how you react. Loving right now, even when we don’t like the scenario–is a calling.
That goes for loving yourself as well. I had a health scare this month, not totally resolved, but getting there. What I know, is that it was the often feared “pay the piper” thought process. Of course I can react with shame, guilt, self-blame etc. Or I can love myself today knowing that I am not immortal and that I have done the best that I could in the moment.
As I returned from the family dinner, Mike was so welcoming, so loving. He had missed me. He told me he was proud of me; and how much he loved me. He was showing me the love right there in that moment. His words as precious as Matthew’s.
Not all who read this are still caregiving, some are in a state of grief and sadness–having lost their love. Others have the scars which have healed but the memories remain.
I encourage you to love yourself like this song suggests. You, more than others, recognize the brevity of even the longest journey. You give us perspective. We know how hard caregiving was as you shared through the support group. We saw the incredible love you gave. You are our examples. For everything there is a season, love modulates the impact.
